Unsolicited Advice (UA)

I'm grumpy and tired today, so I'm just going to hand out some UA cuz I feel like it.

UA to the Oregon State Board of Nazis, errrr, Nurses investigator:  You are a PITA, a thorn in my side, and a general beyotch.  Go get bent and leave me the f*** alone!

UA to Dakota's psychologist:  Dude, you get paid good money.  Send her doctor the info she needs so my kid can get on meds already!  WTH??

UA to Jack, my black lab puppy:  I can't wait for your balls to get chopped off so you settle down.  Your days as a "boy" are numbered, man.

UA to my car:  You better make it another few months.  I can't afford to buy another POS yet and I am not financing a car. 

UA to our substitute scheduler:  I like you as a person, but you suck as a scheduler.  You make me want to hurl my phone into the Willamette.  Stop bugging me with every little detail. 

UA to my lawyer:  You said my papers would be ready by now.  WHERE ARE THEY???  It's a damn easy $1500 I paid you, please hurry.

UA to Madeline:  You best figure out how to STTN or you are gonna be livin with the Gypsies. 

Ok, that's all the UA for today.  Stay tuned for more UA coming soon.